Bloggin', Postin'

Personal post before getting back to work tomorrow.  Had a short mini-vacation since work last Friday, though I did go in for 1.5 hours for a meeting on Tuesday (NYE).

What is proper etiquette if a meeting where your attendance is required gets scheduled on a day you took off but forgot to mark as such on your calendar?

First workout at the gym was Tuesday.  I work with a trainer, he had me do "back and accessories" which meant barbell rows, then some row machine, then some other sort of row with a cable which was suppose to hit my deltoids, then lat pull downs, then pull ups and some curls to end.  3 sets of 10 for each exercise, I think 15 for the curls.  I'll have to start paying attention to what the names are and the weight I'm doing, I think the most I did with the barbell row was 95.  Most of the later exercises I had trouble hitting the last few reps - got spent really quickly.  Today my back is feeling it all over though, which I take is a good thing; but, the inside of my elbows is also really feeling it like near the joint or maybe the ligament.  I also can't extend fully, so not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

Have some date nights coming up, but I also go cancelled on Monday night like an hour before.  This would have been a second date and was probably going to be a sleepover since she lives an hour away and we were planning on drinking in.  This is not wifey material, we are pretty clear we are just looking for some fun with each other.  Anyway, the purported reason for canceling was she had no gas to drive here.

I was talking to my friend, he said I should have gone and picked her up.  That didn't seem reasonable to me - little too desperate or something.  Since I don't have much to say tonight I'm gonna put some convo down below for entertainment and to see what independent thoughts people have and may share.  The only background you need is to know we had one double-date, she made it clear she was DTF, we planned a 2nd date but she cancelled on me, then after some back and forth we hadn't talked in about 10 days and I was the last to message her something but never got a response.  Following all that, I hit her up one night which is where it starts below.  I'm redacting location info.

inb4beta
-FS

AROUND 3AMFS: Heyy - be a good sport and tell me what it was? Not that I'm eating myself up or anything, just so I can make improvements in the future. I'm really terrible at girls haha. Appreciated ;)Female: I've just been busy..looking for a job.. Why is it that you don't talk to someone for a few days and they think you aren't interested. I like you, I wanna see you again soon I've just been busy with holiday stuff and looking for work. How are you?FS: Pleaseeeee, you went from talking to me on the regular to ignoring me. It's all good, I've been on both sides of that so I understand haha.. Sometimes there just isn't that spark. ;) You will find a job don't worry.Female: Stop I like youFS: seriously ? :*) baw. Playing.Female: You're cute, what are you doing tomorrow night?FS: taking you out :)Female: =) where?FS: Hmm ice skating at xxxxxxx, and dinner at the hipster vegetarian place?Female: Idk about ice skating, I don't like the cold.. Maybe something else? If that's okay... :( food sounds great though!FS: hahaFS: theres that non-spark again. What do you like? remember what I said about not being good at this :)Female: Idk what is there to do that isn't outdoors? :pFS: Well we can always just chill and drink wine, watch netflix, catch up on that conversation we never had cus of the surprise double date ;) Goto the movies.. go test drive sports cars we can't afford. I'm actually off tomorrow, which is why I'm still up. So if you wanna catch a matinee when nobody is there we could do that.Female: HmmFemale: I like how netflix sounds :)FS: Sounds good to me, I'm really enjoying the shit out of this couch I finally got into the apartment through my window.Female: Is it super comfy?FS: fuck yes :)Female: Nice I'm excited, I'm gonna get some sleep I'll message you tomorrow :)FS: Word, sweet screams

NEXT DAY AROUND 5PMFemale: So small issue, I don't have the gas to get to xxxxxxx tonight..FS: Damn that suxFemale: Yeah it really doesFS: Yup well let me know if you figure it out I was looking forward.Female: Me too :(

On Online Dating

This blog is mostly about things of an actuarial nature, but occasionally I need to vent about the world and what is bothering me on a given day.  Today it is online dating.

Yes, I set up a profile on one of the dating sites and I've had some communication with a few girls but never leading anywhere.  Today I messaged someone who responded immediately with the following:

"Your profile is terrible! I get to know nothing about you from it so I don't have a clue if I am interested in getting to know you."

It took everything I had to resist pointing out the contradiction in that statement.  Failed.

I don't know if it is consumer culture or increasingly anti-social tendencies among youth due to online modes of communication, but I am frustrated every day by the attitudes I perceive, especially among 20's women.  I don't look or act like a creep - I'm a normal guy of average or maybe slightly above average attractiveness, and above average intelligence.  But it is almost unacceptable today to approach a girl you don't know out in public and show interest. If you try to strike up a conversation with a female stranger you are automatically a creep.

Enter online dating.  Allows people to minimize the awkward interaction component of dating - if you don't like someone's appearance or what they have to say about themselves you can just ignore them.  No need to go through the motions out of politeness as you might in person.  But I feel like the experience encourages a shopper's mentality.  You browse profiles like you would items at the grocery store.  You read the label,  read the blurbs, compare it to the next item on the shelf...you do everything but test the product.  On the other side are people marketing themselves, using the right buzz words, trying to appear fun and adventurous, intelligent and successful - every dude near me is apparently an avid hiker who loves to plan adventures.

IMO, online dating provides two advantages over the bar: it allows me to identify singles and exclude those who are taken, and it allows me to separate full-on idiots from those of reasonable intelligence (sentence structure and grammar).  To gain those two advantages I sacrifice on the third important aspect (pre-getting to know someone) which is assessing physical attractiveness.  This is better done in person but can still be achieved at some level of confidence online.  After those 3 filters are applied I want to get to know the person - that is, I want to meet over a drink and have a conversation.  I do not want to read a life story online and compare their personality test answers to my own.  I want to save the mystery and learn those things the old fashioned way, but it seems to be the expectation that you get all of that out of the way in advance.

So yes - most of my profile sections are brief and filled in with comments about cats with funny captions.  I expect females to determine whether my looks meet their standards and to contact me (or respond if I messaged them) if they are interested.  I'm not making a sales pitch or giving up my income level in advance - if someone wants to get to know me they will have to skip getting to know me.

-FS